A wedding is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life and is something most people have dreamed of since they were young. When envisioning your wedding, everything always goes off without a hitch and the day runs entirely smooth. The reality is that most weddings have a few hitches but how they are dealt with is what makes the difference. Make sure that you have a plan in place to deal with anything that could go wrong. Especially when referring to wedding crashers.
No matter what you may have been told, wedding crashers are definitely real! For those who may not know, a wedding crasher is somebody who attends a wedding celebration without an invitation. They tend to pop up out of nowhere and try to fit right in as if they belong. They often times go unnoticed due to the sheer mass of people attending, some of whom have never met before plus ones, and because there is usually alcohol flowing which makes memories a bit hazy. Wedding crashers crash an event for two reasons: free food/alcohol and a place to party while feeling exhilarated.
How to spot a wedding crasher:
- They don’t have a believable story or it keeps changing
- Don’t trust the guy whose story doesn’t add up! If when speaking to the bride’s side he says he knows the groom and when speaking to the groom’s side he says he knows the bride, he is likely a crasher. Also, if he keeps changing his story and telling people different things, he is likely a crasher. Keep your eyes peeled!
- They showed up late
- Wedding crashers are famous for showing up late because that is when people are too busy doing other things that they don’t pay as much attention. They also like to push themselves into the receiving line because again that is when guests are distracted.
- They have a larger than life personality
- If a person is being large and in charge, involved in everything, and pretending that they know everyone, they are likely a wedding crasher. The Vince Vaughn & Owen Wilson crasher theory was always to bro-hug the groom, dance with the bride, catch the garter and then give a rousing speech (with a side of liquid courage). Keep an eye on this person.
- They never sit down anywhere
- Most weddings have a table or seating chart and that is something that the crasher can’t fake. Usually a crasher is somebody who won’t sit down at a table during dinner but will instead be in the bathroom or at the bar. If everyone else is seated and you find a random person doing everything in their power not to sit, watch them closely or maybe even speak to them to catch a crasher.
- They are a good dancer
- Imagine spending all of your weekends at weddings just like a wedding crasher. They usually pick up some awesome dance moves and aren’t going to be shy about jumping on the dance floor. Remember, it takes a certain confidence to crash a wedding, after all. Look out for that guy.
- They only dance with an older family member
- Elderly people generally don’t have the best memory or can be oblivious to situations so a crasher tends to try to dance with the bride’s grandmother or a great aunt. Dancing with an elderly family member will also give that person instant credibility and make him look great in front of the ladies. Tricky!
- They dodge the wedding planner all night
- Wedding planners deal with crashers more often than people think so generally a crasher will try to steer clear of them. Wedding planners know how to spot a crasher and also generally know the guest list so they would stand out.
Now, I am not trying to scare you and obviously not all weddings have crashers. I just want to warn you of the possibilities that might arise if one does show up. As a bride or groom, you should not be the ones worrying about wedding crashers and you should create an all around “emergency plan” for anything that could go wrong, including if an uninvited guest arrives. There is a way to deal with it so that it doesn’t ruin your wedding day and your ability to enjoy the day and have fun.
Plan in case there is a wedding crasher:
- Assign someone to handle the situation
- Instead of speaking to them yourself, ask somebody else to have a conversation with them so that you can continue celebrating your wedding day. Just tell somebody that there is a guest present who was not invited and you would like them to leave. Try and see if the situation can be taken care of without your presence. This can be a friend, a parent, a sibling, the wedding planner, etc.
- Have the conversation with them yourself
- If asking somebody else to handle the situation first doesn’t work out, you and your spouse might need to speak with them yourselves. They can’t pretend to know you to your face. You can simply ask them to leave because they were not invited and you have no idea who they are.
- Find security
- Most venues require security so if they truly won’t leave, get security in there to escort them out. Security should be the third step simply because you don’t want to make a scene if you can help it. Security guards usually have the training and the resources to get them out of there no matter what. If you have a wedding planner, they should be in charge of finding security and handling the situation so that the couple can enjoy their day.
- Figure out if the authorities need to be called
- If there is no security and nobody can get this person to leave, then the authorities should be called. Try to put somebody in charge of the situation so that it stays discreet and doesn’t freak the other guests out. This should be the wedding planner if you have one, as they have probably dealt with this same situation a time or two.
- Keep somebody on lookout
- After you get the wedding crasher out of there, assign somebody to keep watch to make sure that they don’t sneak back in. Watch the bar, the restrooms, and the dance floor. They usually try to get free drinks or blend in to the large crowd of people dancing. If you have a wedding planner and/or security, they will ensure that they don’t get back in. You should enjoy your wedding and trust them to do their jobs.
I have had a few run ins with wedding crashers and I will say that if they are caught, usually they leave without an issue. I have only had one circumstance where security had to become involved but luckily, we did not have to call the police. The main reason you want to catch wedding crashers is because they take advantage. They will take advantage of the free food, open bar, fun night, and your wedding night entirely. They are not a close friend or family member who you want to share your night with. They are some stranger who showed up crash the party and drink for free. My recommendation is that if you don’t have a wedding planner who will automatically look out for these types of things, assign somebody to step in and take care of any issues that might occur. Have a plan just in case anything happens and hope that nothing does!
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