Writing your Wedding Vows

Are you and your significant other thinking of writing your own vows? Though it may seem like an impossible task to share how you feel about each other in just a few minutes, it is completely worth it! It is such a great way to create an even more intimate moment during your ceremony with the person that you love and it gives your guests a closer look into your relationship on a meaningful level. You can share a bit of your love connection and story while also celebrating that same connection and love.

Personal vows are so much more meaningful and many couples these days opt for writing their own vows because of that. It may not be the easier route, but you will not be sorry that you chose to speak from the heart instead of speaking the same repeat after me vows that have been happening for ages. Saying vows that you wrote will also keep your crowd more engaged and invested in what you are saying.

Writing vows is definitely not an easy task. How do you take all of the love shared between you and talk about it in less than 2 minutes? Let’s get into some tips and tricks for writing your own wedding vows that will help!


Wedding Vow Outline

The best thing about writing your own wedding vows is that there are no rules! They are your vows and you just need to speak from the heart. If you are having trouble coming up with anything, use these steps to aid in your writing process:

  1. Talk about how you will always be there no matter what
    • Though your significant other may already know that you will stick with them no matter what, it is always nice to make that point in your vows too. Yes, it will give your soon to be spouse reassurance, but it will also reassure the family and friends in the crowd of your intentions to stick around through the good and the bad.
  2. Share personal stories (that are appropriate)
    • It always gives more of a personal touch when you have something to say about your significant other’s quirks or raw moments. Your friends and family want to hear about those silly stories and your significant other will also want to hear them. They will love that you notice those small things and can remember a funny story. Don’t get inappropriate because it is definitely not the place or time.
  3. Make promises about what you plan to do
    • Often times people begin talking about the reassurances and funny stories and forget to actually make vows to the other person. It is important to actually voice this by saying “I promise” or “I vow” to do something. The promise or vow is the entire reason behind giving vows. You are vowing to do something for the rest of your life with this person so just remember to say it!
  4. Acknowledge family and friends who have supported you and will continue to do so
    • While a wedding brings the people you love the most together to celebrate your love, it doesn’t end there. Your friends and family will always be a part of your lives so it is important to remember them in your vows as well. Do not make the entire thing about family and friends, but instead maybe mention the support you have received thus far and how much you will need even more support in the future.
  5. Don’t forget to say I love you
    • Sounds like a no-brainer right? Well actually, most people forget to say I love you in their vows. Those three magic words always seal the deal and it is important to remember to say them out loud somewhere during your vows. You might regret it later if you don’t.

Wedding Vow Tips

Here are some tips to use when writing and delivering your wedding vows:

  1. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT wait until the last minute
    • If you wait until the last minute, it will be noticeable and it will be bad. Plan to have your vows written at least 2 weeks before the wedding so that there is no margin for error. Do it, you’ll thank me later!
  2. Before attempting to write, make a list of all your thoughts and ideas
    • Writing down anything and everything that you love about your significant other will make it easier to look back later and pick out the things that you wish to discuss when you are actually writing your vows.
  3. It is okay to rewrite them and make changes
    • If you give yourself enough time, you can rewrite your vows as many times as needed and you can make any necessary changes as well. Rome wasn’t built in a day and your vows don’t have to be completed in one day either. Give yourself a few rewrites and make it perfect!
  4. Don’t try to include your entire relationships stories into 2 minutes
    • There is no way to fit years of memories into one small speech so don’t even try. Just pick out your very favorite things about the other person or your very favorite memory. Plus, some stuff is best to just keep to yourselves.
  5. Avoid words like always or never
    • Marriage isn’t going to be easy so instead of using words like always or never, maybe use “I will”. Absolute language can be difficult and marriage will definitely have its ups and downs so don’t promise to be perfect.
  6. Be sentimental
    • If there was ever a time to be sentimental, reading your vows is definitely that time. It isn’t the time to be worried about what others will think. It is your wedding after all so there is no more impressing your friends and acting cool. Tell the other person exactly how you feel.
  7. Make them laugh & allow time for laughter
    • It is okay to tell a joke or two during your vows to elicit some laughter! It will do wonders for everyone’s hearts if they can laugh and shed a few tears at the same time. You will especially want to see your significant other laugh!
  8. Practice reading out loud (and then practice again)
    • Practicing out loud can do wonders for the brain. Sometimes when we are just writing away, we get lost in what we are saying and it may not make sense. Be sure to read it out loud, adjust what you need to, and then practice again until it’s exactly what you were hoping for!
  9. Allow time for getting emotional
    • There are times throughout both sets of vows where you, the couple, and your guests will need some time to get emotional. Allow pauses at times when you know that it is going to happen. It is perfectly normal for all people to get emotional over a fantastic love connection!
  10. Ask a friend to listen to your vows
    • Asking a friend to listen to your vows will do wonders for your confidence and it is always a good thing to get a second opinion. There may be something in there that doesn’t sound quite like it should and they can help you get it to the level where it needs to be for a wedding.
  11. Make a fresh copy of your vows for wedding day
    • Don’t bring that torn up, scribbled on piece of paper to the wedding. Make a fresh copy of your vows to bring to the wedding. This piece of paper may be in pictures and if there is a bunch of scribbles on it, you may even get confused or stumble on your words a bit.
  12. Do not let your partner see or hear your vows until wedding day
    • Wedding vows are meant to be read to each other on your wedding day. Do not let your partner see your vows ahead of time or the reaction may not be as great on your wedding day. Make them wait and be ready to get emotional.

Before you get started, ask yourself these questions:

  1. How long should the vows be? Maybe discuss this with your partner so that you are on the same page.
  2. Should you share stories or inside jokes? Would it be better to keep it more general?
  3. Should it lean toward being more funny or sentimental? What would you partner love more?
  4. Should you incorporate traditional vow elements into your original vows?
  5. Do you want to use notecards or memorize it and speak from the heart?

Upcoming Blogs:

Tuesday: Ultimate Guide to Wedding Dresses

Friday: Ultimate Guide to Tuxedos/Suits

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